Stephen Harper and the conversation the Governor General needs to have with him

Her Excellency, the Governor General (HE), needs to have this conversation with Stephen Harper (SH) when he comes to visit Rideau Hall later this week (in the style of Andrew Coyne):

HE: Mr. Harper, you've come to ask us to dissolve parliament and call a new election, we are told.

SH: Yes, your excellency.

HE: We trust that you are not doing so because you think you could win a majority in the next parliament?

SH: Oh no, your excellency! Certainly not. That would be against the spirit of Bill C16, the fixed election date legislation that my government proposed and parliament passed last year. No, parliament is dysfunctional. It's dysfunctional now. That's why I'm here. We passed a bunch of legislation before but now, now it has become dysfunctional.

HE: We are glad to hear that you are respecting the spirit of Bill C16. We suspected as much when we read what you said, "My expectation would be that we will have another minority. I think that's the reality of the current political environment," when you visited Tuktoyaktuk. Pray tell Mr. Harper, how do you know that parliament is dysfunctional now?

SH: Well, your excellency, I've just had meetings with the leaders of the three opposition parties. We disagree so much on the issues that I believe our government doesn't have the confidence of parliament.

HE: But what if we get another minority government? What will have changed?

SH: Like I said in Tuktoyaktuk, I want to get a fresh mandate out of an election, even if it's another minority government.

HE: But, assuming you win a minority government, the opposition leaders will still be the same, and they will still have the same disagreements with you.

SH: Your excellency, parliament will be different. There will be new MPs, new ministers, new critics, new committees. Parliament will be different.

HE: But you haven't consulted parliament. You've only consulted the party leaders. Mr. Harper, perhaps we should consult with this parliament before we spend $300 million on another election just so that you can empty the opposition parties' coffers, and so leave them in the position of not being able to threaten to go to the polls. (Yes, we have been reading Mr. Flanagan's exposition of your battle plan.) Is that what you really mean by a "fresh mandate"? We are going to have to think about all of this for a few days before we would be able to grant your request to dissolve parliament.